I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You were trust falling into bushes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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