There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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