I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
