omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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