Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
