are you still at the devil's house?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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