I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
