the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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