Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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