Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
