so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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