so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
