she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
