we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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