bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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