I looked at my own cervix.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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