He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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