Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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