Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize