I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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