I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
