I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just google imaged poop.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
