hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize