im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I cockslap morals
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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