she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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