I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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