you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
