Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
