The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
