sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
