You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
