I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
