am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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