I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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