I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
