I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
