stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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