She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
