just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
