you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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