HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
