You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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