So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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