I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
