I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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