What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
