I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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