My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Non-Jews are for practice
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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