And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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