Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
