i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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