I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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