Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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