the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize