I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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