I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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