I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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