just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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