Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
