ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
